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By the author of What School Should Have Taught You: 75 Skills You’ll Actually Use in Life
At least as of the 1980s, the statistic was that 80% of divorces stem from money issues. I don’t know if that’s the exact same statistic for 2023, but the research agrees that money is still one of the top things that couples fight about.
How you can avoid that
So I’d like to float a few questions to men out there:
- You love your wife, and buy her gifts to show this, right?
- You love your wife, and work long hours to show this, right?
- You love your wife, and take her out to eat to show this, right?
You probably regularly compliment her, tell her ‘I love you,’ and the like as well. The point is that there are things that you regularly do that you know that she likes because you love her, think about her a lot, and want to show her that she matters to you.
And with this all being the case, and knowing that money issues are a huge cause of fights amongst couples, why would you not also take preventive steps to keep money fights from being a cause of contention between the two of you?
You buy health, car, and life insurance because you want to protect your family from financial issues that could be associated with tragedy. That’s an active step you’ve taken to protect those whom you love.
Maybe you regularly take your wife out on dates because you’ve heard over and over again from older couples that this is vital to a healthy, long-lasting marriage.
That’s all great.
But if we look at the statistics showing how huge a deal money can be within a marriage, why would we not do the same to protect that marriage from that cause of contention?
If an intruder were to break into a man’s home in the middle of the night to attack his wife, the husband would fight back with a degree of fury that would make Thanksgiving conversation around the dinner table for generations to come. Why? Because the good husband loves, cherishes, and protects his wife.
Think of money issues as the home intruder.
They sneak in unnoticed when nobody seems to be looking and then take a stab straight at your wife’s heart. Before anybody has even noticed what has happened, there is chaos and destruction all over the place and you’re left wondering not only ‘what just happened?’ but of how you’re going to fix all this.
Attack those money issues. Don’t let them mar the heart that you hold in your hands.
The stock setting most men have when they hear this advice is “I will now work 80 hours a week,” but that’s not always the appropriate response.
Are there times when you’re going to need to work crazy schedules to provide? Absolutely.
But if you let work take the place of your wife – even unintentionally – you’re going to end up making things worse. You may cut that debt to pieces, but you may end up cutting those you love in the same manner as well.
While increased work hours for a short period of time may be a part of what you have to do, make sure that you’re also taking the tried-and-true methods of really attacking those money issues. Audit your budget. Use cash. Get on the envelope system. Build up an emergency fund. Do what you have to do prime the pump.
These are the ways you financially sleep with a shotgun next to the bed, use high-quality door locks, and install an effective alarm system for the most important human relationship you have in your life. Odds are, you already do these things to protect those who are living underneath of your roof already.
So why not do the same type of steps to protect their lives from chaos by guarding your marriage against financial hardship? Don’t just throw this intruder out of the house. Destroy it. You have to have money to live, and there are going to be financial curve balls regardless of what you do in life. Unless you’re Elon Musk, that’s just the way it is. Money is a part of life, and you have to learn to live with it.
This can make a big difference for your family.
Taking these above steps won’t automatically make everything smooth sailing marriage-wise for you for the rest of your life – but they’ll most certainly help.
No sailor purposefully steers his ship into troubled waters when there are calm seas in view. Sail for the calm seas. If you’re not protecting hearts by protecting finances, whether you like it or not, you’re intentionally sailing for troubled waters. Don’t do that to yourself or your loved ones.
So take the steps to get your finances in order. It’s not easy, but it’s a great example of love that you can show for your wife. And you know, she’ll probably appreciate it more than those expensive gifts, weekly Chili’s runs, or unnecessarily long work hours.
What do you think about all this?
Do you agree? Have you seen finances cause marital problems? Let us know your thoughts in the comment section below.
Aden Tate is a regular contributor to TheOrganicPrepper.com and TheFrugalite.com. Aden runs a micro-farm where he raises dairy goats, a pig, honeybees, meat chickens, laying chickens, tomatoes, mushrooms, and greens. Aden has four published books, What School Should Have Taught You, The Faithful Prepper, An Arm and a Leg, The Prepper’s Guide to Post-Disaster Communications, and Zombie Choices. You can find his podcast The Last American on Preppers’ Broadcasting Network.
2 thoughts on “Getting Your Finances in Order Is an Act of Love”
Also want to remind about afterwards too-a will is not iron clad and lots of headaches we are not aware of-make sure to designate loved ones as official beneficiaries on those insurance policies etc…that is separate from a will…never assume
The less you have to leave in a will, the better. Pension, 401Ks, IRAs, bank accounts/CDs, property (in some states), life insurance are not governed by your will. The less you have to probate, the better. Transfer on death (depending on your state) and/or payer on death (every state) doesn’t require the services of an attorney. Pension/401K are likely spouse as beneficiary – IRAs don’t have that rule. Laws are skewed toward spouses but do give your kids (or other non-spousal 401K/IRA beneficiaries) about the new drain-it-in-10-years. While I applauded closing the loophole of Mitt Romney (don’t agree with his views but he is a man and a man of integrity – a rare person in his party), I do think $100K-$200K per parent should have been eligible for rolling over into child’s IRA. For far too many I fear, this would be their only retirement money.
Term life is the best and most frugal option – just beware about term life via your employer. It *used* to be a good buy but now most are priced so you can “convert” to whole life (bad, bad choice). Disability insurance, IMHO, is a must – minor children or not.